Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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