Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
