I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
