Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize