I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The power of my boobs compel you
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
