I wannas sexs uuuuu
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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