there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
