at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
