Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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