Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
