you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
