She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
