I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
