Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Drake has all the answers
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
