you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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