Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We left the knife in your bed.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
