He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Enjoy the penises
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
