we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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