And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
