Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
