he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
