upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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