Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
