They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
