you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize