I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
