Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
