when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't deserve a penis
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
