I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
