we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
