i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
