it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
