So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
