How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
