oh god the rape fog is back!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
