the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
