Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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