Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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