Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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