guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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