OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
