Christians are straight up FREAKS
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
