We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
