Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
love makes seman taste better
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
