I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
