There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
