Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
