True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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