stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
