um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just invented taco cereal.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Randomize
