we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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