Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
